weirdly productive, despite the mess
from the desk of a very tired visionary who started repurposing and rebranding things at 3am
you know those 3am thoughts that probably should’ve stayed in the drafts? Yeah. These are those.
At this point, I’ve accepted that my mind is a chaotic place.
It’s giving cluttered attic.
I always have a new idea, a new hyperfixation, or some random “what if” scenario bouncing around up there.
I crave knowledge like it’s a snack.
I’m a millennial who loves a good trinket.
A blerd girl with an iPad, backpack, and emotional support bottle ready for war.
…surviving off iced coffee, matcha, and 4 hours of sleep.
the aesthetic: a lil delusional, highly intentional
I’ll own that I’m a maximalist.
If I like it, I want it in another color.
However, the goal in this season is mid-size abundance.
mid-size abundance = curated chaos that is a lil delusional, but highly intentional. A version of balance for the neurospicy (term coined by ME!).
Lately, I’ve been curating the chaos into things that actually feel like mine (queue Becoming Isn’t Pretty, But It’s Mine).
Revamping corners of my space (I’m starting to get over the windowless basement corner that has now become my studio).
Rebranding (personally, professionally - it’s giving a dash of Regina Hall for humor, Sza with the big hair energy, Olivia Pope because we’re down to business, and Khadijah James because she was gonna make it work even if it had to be held together by paperclips and Sinclair).
Consolidating things into packages that make sense (for instance, Real Blerd Girl Ish… I didn’t mean to make a separate newsletter per say. Making it section feels better for my brain).
duality is a thing
One of the best decisions I made? Taking my grown-ass back to school during the onset of a government collapse.
I’m serious AF.
The next part might sound a little ego-driven… because it is.
These last few classes? I’ve felt superior.
There’s just something about being black, opinionated, and alive during a time when they’re trying to bring back segregation, new age slavery, and delete DEI in the same breath…
All of a sudden you’re the unspoken expert in every social emotional learning discussion because these topics aren’t anything new. I sit back and watch folks fumble and stumble over the word “inclusion” as they explain what it means to have an inclusive classroom, and watching the glaze over look settle on their faces as they realize… the little resources they already had… are on the verge of being gone.
But in the strangest of ways, I’ve never felt so in tune with self and spirituality (the last time I was this close was 2020, yep, during the pandemic - coincidence? I think not!).
Now, this could be the delulu talking… but what if I was put on this earth to be a chaos coordinator?!
Hear me out…
Most of us avoid the mess… or at least try to make it prettier than what it is.
But lately, I’ve been learning how to just… let it be.
Sometimes, the mess is there to show you something. It’s not asking to be thrown away, just repurposed with intention.
So, that’s where I’m at.
A lil delusional, highly intentional.
Not striving for minimalism (in any form), just trying to find peace somewhere between “doing the most” and “doing what matters”.
Mid-size abundance.
that’s all I got. now, go forth and repurpose your chaos.
quick notes:
If you were subscribed to Real Blerd Girl Ish, you were automatically moved over. If the vibe no longer suits you, I promise, no hard feelings :-)
things you may like (ICYMI):
still moving f o r w a r d
"The more I tried to make sense to them, the less I made sense to me. I had to stop explaining, stop justifying, and just start being."
Loooove mid size abundance. Hoping to have all of that this year ❤️
I'm loving the pictures and graphics. This is indeed dope.