mixtapes & musings vol.1

A Lemon spinoff.

can i be honest?

I almost deleted Lemon.

Lemon was a piece that was written because I could not focus. The thoughts kept bouncing back and forth like ping-pong balls, causing my eyes to cross. I sifted through several different drafts, all of various topics, some requiring more research than others, and at that moment, I felt a little bit defeated. It was too early in the game to be this overwhelmed. I was finding my stride, my tribe, and a level of consistency that I did not want to lose.

So, instead of writing nothing, I put some music on shuffle and hoped for the best. Thus, Lemon was born and was well received.

mixtapes & musings is the spinoff, a space that expands the format of its predecessor and explores the connection between varied musings, music, and my current hyperfixations. These volumes should give the vibe of Tumblr and while I can’t always guarantee a theme, there will always be a flow.

…and without further ado, let’s dive into the first volume.

sittin’ up in my room

Remember when the 90s required movies to have an amazing soundtrack? I’m talking music videos filled with cameos and movie montages. It was almost blasphemous to buy the VHS and not have the soundtrack because it was that essential.

courtesy of Pinterest

The songs were good—better than good—full-length songs with big-name artists. The Waiting To Exhale soundtrack? My mother and I wore it out. It was an example of a top-tier collective of women, black women, who SANG: Whitney, Brandy, Toni Braxton, Chanté Moore, Aretha Franklin, Chaka Khan, SWV, and I know I’m missing a few more graced us with an album filled with bops.

Quote: Brown Sugar (2002) - photo courtesy of Pinterest.

Music has always been my love language, a lifeline through my toughest times, with lyrics that are now woven into the fabric of my being. Whether it’s the soulful melodies of neo-soul, the raw energy of hip-hop (e.g., Kendrick and the Kenfolk¹), or the soothing rhythms from the Quiet Storm, music has always been a guiding light, a compass to navigate me through my feelings and find my way back home.

I remember those days of sitting in my room with the radio blasting, my finger practically glued to the record button as I created my homemade mixtapes. Looking back, I realize it was my teenage ritual—after school and weekends spent fully immersed in deciphering lyrics, taking notes, and carefully writing each verse in my notebook. I kinda wish I still had them. Most are physically lost in the void of time, but they still hang on to the corners of my memory.

Maybe… we can recreate them… but until then… here’s to nostalgia.

the diary of a neurodivergent introvert

I’m an introvert with extrovert tendencies.

I’m also an Enneagram 4 (The Individualist)² with a 5 (The Observer) wing.

I prefer quiet environments, moments of solitude, and introspective activities to recharge my energy. Too many large gatherings back to back drain me. At my extrovert best, I enjoy group chats, making new connections, and linking up with the tribe - and when I go out, I can be a vibe… but the fact that I create content while gearing up to launch an independent professional practice is really blowing my mind right now.

This Threads post right here?! Relatable AF!

When I tell y’all I am proud of me - you don’t know how far your girl has come in this long, winding path that lead to a nice patch of grass to sit on.

It’s nice over here. The lake has clean water, the flowers are lovely, and there’s plenty of shade. This side of the road is filled with inspiring individuals who visit me from time to time as I continue to carve out my new professional and creative identity and fully accept my title as a writer, creator, and coach.

Over here, I feel encouraged to do all of the hard things. I see the big picture and turn tasks into digestible chunks. I’m not always where I want to be - but the progress is showing.

When I started this letter, I told myself that I wouldn’t worry about the numbers… and I still won’t. I do this for me more than anything else (I’ll be doing enough writing to cater to an audience soon enough) - but cracking the 100 mark was a nice way to show me how consistency and authenticity can lead you to your tribe and calling.

Sometimes, you have to do things for yourself and not worry about anyone else because the opportunities meant for you will come to you. Trusting the process has allowed me to focus on fulfillment and in turn, opportunities that allow me to fulfill my life’s passions have kicked down my door.

I’m learning that there’s no shame in letting things grow at their organic pace—especially when you long to create a space for authenticity and cultivate opportunities for nourishment that stick to your bones like a warm home-cooked meal.

In the past, I lacked patience.

…and in this space, my space, patience is required to introspect and explore the identity I want to share with the world. My fellow introverts understand—presenting yourself genuinely in a digital landscape can feel overwhelming. I had to learn to accept this as a natural progression, a preparation for the things that once were mere dreams to manifest into reality.

My journey is unfolding perfectly, and I am aligned with the path that leads to my true destiny.

so, a thing happened…

On Juneteenth,

BlackStack

was launched.

It’s important to cultivate space.
Space for yourself. Space for your passions. Space that cater to different facets of your identity.
I firmly believe that if we can’t find a space that allows us to thrive in our authenticity - then it must be created.

If you don’t know by now,

Jacquie Verbal

is my Substack partner in crime. We motivate each other to push forward because our lives and experiences often parallel. Our chats feel like two sisters pushing through adulthood while trying to have some fun along the way. We allow each other to vent, bounce off ideas, and explore our culture.

…and that energy is the foundation BlackStack was built on.

THIS revolution will not be televised.

“Our black culture is a mosaic of triumphs, struggles, and infinite possibilities—embracing it is an act of self-love and empowerment.”

- Viola Davis

In case you missed the launch - I will provide a few quick notes:

• This space was created to allow our subscribers to engage with one another without fear of judgment, without the need to code-switch, and to wear our bonnets and durags in peace.

• The vibe is giving very much neighborhood block party with hot sausages on the grill, fresh-baked macaroni and cheese, and possibly too many beans on the plate (IYKYK).

• Follow vs. Subscription: Anyone can follow BlackStack. We share newsletter recommendations, quotes, call-to-actions, and whatever we desire with the public via our Notes. However, Subscriptions to the newsletter and community are not open to everyone. If this offends you, I understand, but this will not change (think of us as the Substack Campus Black Student Union). To bring it on home - most of us are a part of multiple spaces (because, hey, duality is a thing), and while this group may not be right for you - I’m more than happy to point you in the direction of one that will be.

end of mixtape & musings vol.1

Thank you for tapping into this week’s newsletter and allowing me to share these moments with you. If this resonates with you, please support this creative by sharing this vibe on your favorite platform or consider contributing to my Nespresso machine replacement (may she rest in peace).

1. In case you missed Kendrick’s Juneteenth Pop Out - here’s a good recap from the New York Times.

2. If you want to learn more about enneagrams, here’s a small deep dive from Women’s Health Magazine.