The Audacity

We really side eye folk for having "the audacity" but sometimes it's needed. On this journey I'm learning to be a little selfish and ask the big asks because... why not? Now, let's get into it!

Today, I’m filled with audacious energy.

It’s chaotic and surges through my veins like a three shot espresso.

I look at myself in the mirror, fluff out the shaggy curls until the volume is overwhelming, and smile. For a moment, I see the 17-year-old version of me, the popular loner who never felt she had a space. She struggled with her life’s direction, afraid to disappoint the people around her. A former “people pleaser” for her elders, specifically.

Now, in my 30s, I’ve let go of people-pleasing and have started leaning into honoring myself.

Once upon a time, the very thought of this felt incredibly selfish, but what I’ve come to realize is that honoring yourself is an essential act of self-preservation and empowerment. From the black woman's perspective, we have been the backbone of our families and communities. We grow up watching our mothers sacrifice their own needs and desires for the well-being of others. This has led to a culture where self-sacrifice is expected¹, and self-care is seen as a luxury or even a sign of weakness.

@HipHopAndHoodoo via Twitter

be humble, sit down

Black girls are often told to be humble, to dim our lights, and to play small. But I've realized that humility can be a double-edged sword when wielded by those who don't understand our journey. It's not about being arrogant; it's about owning our space, our stories, and our worth.

To be audacious means to dare to dream - BIG - and ask for what you want, unapologetically.

For too long, we’ve been conditioned to take what we’re given, to accept less than we deserve. To be humble and sit down.

But what happens when we don’t have to accept those limitations and rewrite the rules?

We can demand more, we can claim more, and we can create more.

have the audacity to be

You deserve to exist freely and authentically, without apology or justification.

Your worth is not determined by others' perceptions but by the undeniable truth of your being. Embracing audacity allows us to seek relationships that fulfill us, not just those that are convenient. It means pursuing passions and hobbies that bring joy and peace, regardless of how others perceive them. It’s taking that solo trip because you deserve to see the world. It’s starting that business, launching that newsletter, writing that book, or creating the community you’ve always longed for.

“i’m no longer shrinking to be digestible. you can choke…respectfully.”

I am a vibe personified.

No longer will I dim my light nor shrink my energy for the comfort of others.

I embrace my insecurities, viewing them as untapped potential instead of letting them fester and form into blocking beliefs.

Prioritizing this level of authenticity has allowed me to attract the people and experiences that align with my values and aspirations.

As I continue to move forward, I move with intent. I dare to have the audacity to make meaningful connections, collaborations, and career advancements - to turn passionate projects into passionate realities.

I’m learning to lean into the uncomfortable and take (calculated) risks in order to explore new territories.

As they say, well-behaved women rarely make history… and I’m ready to cut tf up.

what will you do with this energy?

Audacity is the catalyst for change; it empowers us to defy limits and transform our world.

Embrace it.

Taking full control of my narrative, writing my story with newfound boldness, and stepping into my main character energy is serving me well. It's not just about claiming space; it's about creating space for others like me to do the same. But first, I need to honor me.

#bodydoublebaddies unite! spending time with a good friend and revisiting my alma mater campus this week filled my heart with joy. thank you @heymjheart not only for the picture but this friendship moment. PS - I know you read this, so here’s your sign to join Substack! #okaybye

Playing it small left me depleted and sometimes resentful. While I feel deeply that I was put on this floating rock to help others find their passions, I realize that pouring into others without refilling my cup does a disservice to both me and the communities I serve. Growing up, I was often told that I had a “serving spirit” but never once was it explained to me that I could serve and also want more for myself.

This well-meaning praise subtly ingrained the belief that my value was tied solely to how much I could give to others, often at the expense of my needs and desires. Even now, I’m still unlearning this blocking belief. Serving others and pursuing your own dreams are not mutually exclusive; they complement each other.

"We all have dualities within us; we just need to understand them and harness them to our benefit."

- Ava DuVernay

I think I like this little life…

…a life where I turn these “quirks” into gifts. For so long, I tried to hide them in hopes that one day I could code-switch them away—but ultimately, they always come back stronger. In the last few years, since being brutally honest about my mental health battles, I learned that there was space for me to be, but it took that moment of audacity—the audacity to expose the parts of myself that were flawed, the audacity to accept that if anyone looked at me differently, it was their loss, not mine. This journey has shown me that embracing my duality and honoring my true self is where my power lies.

…and as I continue to live audaciously, I am committed to celebrating every part of who I am, knowing that my authenticity is my greatest strength.

I feared that this letter would lack direction, and I often feel that this newsletter may be too personal. But now, as I conclude this letter for the week, I understand that this is my story, and I’m ready to live it boldly, unapologetically, and with unshakeable confidence.

Thank you for tapping into this week’s newsletter and allowing me to share these moments with you. If any of this resonated with you, please support this creative by sharing this vibe on your favorite platform. Until next week, bye!

1. Original Twitter thread created by @HipHopAndHoodoo